increasing her drugs

she would rather depend on her drugs than face truth... the drugs are easier than taking responsibility for choices and actions... but the drugs cloud the mind so clarity cannot come and the awareness of the bigger picture, the patterns that repeat again and again every day, every week, every month, the patterns just continue... the causes for the anxiety and depression and helplessness and panic attacks are blurred and buried by the fears and the drugs... so sad to watch her go down like this... so sad to watch him dragged down with her... but he is the kind who will be destitute before he gives up on helping someone... and she is the kind who will hide from the taking she does... he wonders how far down she will drag him... she wonders how far down he will go before he leaves... the silent wall grows taller and deeper and the numbness expands, bloated by her drugs and his comfort foods... they both hope for better days, but rather than change, she just seeks more drugs... it's all very legal, after all, this is a very drug dependent culture we live in... so she escalates from psychologist to psychiatrist to "get her drugs right"... she sees that as what she needs... he see it as giving up on life, as choosing to sleepwalk through repetitive mistakes, as suicide... she sees it as the only way to not lose control... he sees it as a black hole... a sad trade, a sadder relationship...