her way

she knows she is impulsive, especially with money, and she hates herself for her lack of self-discipline that leaves her dependent on him and yet, she is afraid to be on her own... she hates to be alone, so staying dependent keeps him around and she has to admit she likes that even as she hates him sometimes for knowing as much as he does... he wonders why she does what she night... she wonders why he keeps her around... he must not want to be alone either... a strange symbiotic relationship, frustrating for both, comfort for both, and yet, she knows she is the only one who can change her ways... she just does not want to admit that, or do it... impulsive immediate gratification is way more fun...