reality

he lives to help people... she you won't let him help her... yet they live together... they both feel like failures... she keeps looking for solutions everywhere else, but the problems are right here... he loves to problem solve... they have shared problems she will not solve with him... he hates ignoring harm... she harms herself and if he does not ignore it, she harms even more... he hates avoiding an unhealthy or harmful situation... he accepts avoiding it every day... he hates pretending... he must pretend every day... pretending and ignoring is how to continue repeating the same harms and problems... pretending and ignoring is how to continue digging deeper holes... this is a catch-22, a no-win situation... he refuses to pretend everything is ok all the time (like most people do) as that would eat him away from the inside (as it does to most people)... he eats to quell my frustration... he could be five hundred pounds if he had less self-discipline... but the loop spirals down and down these days and he is sinking into depression... his depression is not like most... his is primarily environmental and his choice rather than chemical pr genetic, at least that is his belief... and what is real if not that which we believe to be true...